Guy 1: I just wanted to thank you for the great night.
Bride’s Father: (hiccup) Who the hell are you? (hiccup)
(Guy 2 laughs hard; spits mouthful of scotch in a perfect arc over railing of deck; remainder of scotch left in his glass spills onto deck)
Guy 1: One of the bridesmaid’s boyfriends.
Bride’s Father: I like her.
Guy 1: Thank you. And I’ve really enjoyed this wedding. The best one I’ve ever been to.
Bride’s Father: Who are you?
(Guy two laughs up whatever moisture remains in his mouth; this time there is no arc, just chaotic spit. Parliment’s “Give Up The Funk” starts playing in the background)
Bride’s Father: In 1974 I did a show with Parliment. Those bastards didn’t pay me so I kept their spaceship.
Guy 2: Their spaceship?
Bride’s Father: George Clinton was pissed.
Guy 1: You did steal his spaceship.
Bride’s Father: He kept calling me Bill.
Guy 2: Like Bill Clinton.
Bride’s Father: Like the guy who kept Parliment’s spaceship because they didn’t pay him.
(Bride’s father looks at Guy 1)
Bride’s Father: Who the hell are you?
